If I am being completely honest, marriage was never something that I dreamed about. Not how some little girls dream about it. I never envisioned my wedding dress, never pictured myself cooking or having date nights with my husband. I never even got giddy over engagement announcements. You would get a like and a simple “congrats” from me on Facebook but that was about it.
So, imagine my surprise when God confirmed to me last year that I was to be married.
I was like “Huh? Say what now?”
He has been consistent with this revelation ever since. He has shown me that my purpose in life is going to be magnified (not shrunken as I previously thought) through my future marriage.
And although God has promised me this, there are still things that need to be done beforehand— before I am ready for said marriage. There are still ways that God is Preparing My Heart For Marriage.
There are interpersonal skills that I will need in order to become ONE with another human being and God is giving me opportunities, now— a SINGLE person, to practice certain skills that I know will generalize to a strong, healthy, Christian marriage. Here are just 3 Ways I’ve noticed God is preparing me for marriage.
- SUBMISSION “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Ephesians 5:22-24) I will be the FIRST to admit that I have a problem with authority. I question authority secretly…… a lot. I don’t love the idea of submission. I often think I know it all. But booooyy is God doing a work on my heart. He is humbling me so and revealing to me everyday that I need leadership. I have need to submit to not only Him but also leaders, mentors, etc that He has placed in my life. This has been such great practice for me lately. I am learning to listen more and trust more. These are both qualities that I think my future husband will be grateful for as he takes on the leadership role of our future household.
- NURTURING SPIRIT Being the youngest of five siblings didn’t really leave me for anyone to care for when I was younger. I was used to being the one cared for. I was semi-spoiled— especially by my dad and brothers and got my way often with a bat of my eyes. But now as an adult, this doesn’t cut it anymore. I need to take care of others. Uplift other. Encourage others. It can’t always be about me anymore. To nurture means to care for and to encourage the development or growth of. I learning to be more nurturing though my career as a Speech therapist, by serving in Children’s ministry, and by nurturing what you are reading right now—– my Faith Based Blog. God is showing me that not only am I capable of attending to and caring for something but I also am good it and it is even fun at times. This quality will help me be able to be a helpmate to my future husband. I will be able to pray for him and speak life over him when he gets discouraged or challenged. I will be the nurturer he needs.
- COMMUNICATION I used to be able to hold a grudge like nobody’s business. You did me wrong? Oh you will hear about it until Kingdom come lol. That’s truly how I felt. You will feel guilty for what you did to me. That was my motto. I may have “forgiven” but I will never forgot. How wrong was I to think like this? That’s not Christ- like at all. God forgives us on a regular basis —– casts our sins as far away as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Forgiveness is key and the road to forgiveness begins with good communication. A healthy discussion of what went wrong, how did it go wrong, and how to move forward with things is vital in a marriage. Even I, as a single person, am able to recognize that now. Furthermore, we are reminded in Ephesians 4:26 to “not let the sun go down on our anger”
Although I am being prepared now as a Single person for marriage, I believe that the learning and developing process to be a great Christian wife will never stop for me and my future family. I will constantly be evolving and maturing into the Proverbs 31 woman God calls me to be.
If you’re currently single, I would love to hear from you! In what ways have you noticed that God is preparing your heart for marriage?
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