We’ve all gotten that phone call…..whether it be early in the morning, late at night, or on our lunch break at work. “GIRRRRRRRRRL, let me tell you………,” the voice on the other end of the line says. If you’re a guy it might sound like, “Maaaaaaan, check this out…..,”
Or maybe that’s NOT how it starts. Maybe you’re in the middle of talking about something totally unrelated and then the voice on the other end says, “Oh, that reminds me, did you hear about _______?” or “Did you that know that such and such did ____________?”.
Huh? Oh, you don’t know that voice? Well, maybe the voice is you. (OUCH) lol
Most of the conversations that follow this pattern can be given a name. Many people in my generation call these conversations “tea” or the “inside scoop” but scripture simply calls it “gossip” and many times throughout the Bible we learn that God isn’t fond of it.
It’s very easy in today’s society to get caught up in who did what with whom, who got what and how, and so forth. Social media grants us access to what’s going on in people’s lives nearly every moment of everyday. Also, technology has made it so easy to connect with people that maybe we wouldn’t have interacted with many years, decades, and centuries ago (I mean, would you really know what that classmate from middle school was up to if it wasn’t for social media?). You have to remember, that in the time of our Lord Jesus Christ, people lived in villages and there was no transportation system like there is now. And there definitely wasn’t a such thing as a telephone and what we know today as the internet.
Even without all these inventions, God knew that there were some people in their respective communities being nosey, speaking ill of their neighbors, spreading rumors—– gossiping. So what exactly does the Bible say about gossip?
We see in Ephesians 4:29, the instructions “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen”. Life is tough enough. We all have separate and different battles to fight day in and day out. The Lord knew that discussion of these battles (with ill intent) was unwholesome and He wanted it to end. Notice that the scripture is specific that talk such as this that is NOT helpful in building people up is what is unwholesome.
Now there is an exception of discussing other people’s business. Understand this example: if someone has lost their job and you’re discussing their situation to someone for the purpose of helping them seek employment or get them connected with someone who can, then that talk may not be deemed as unwholesome. You’re actually trying to help a person—– you’re trying to “build them up”.
I’ve heard it many times that some of the biggest gossipers are in the church. (OUCH!). That saddens me because the church is supposed to be a place that welcomes and lifts up the broken, the confused, the distressed, and the lost. How can the church be a safe space for these individuals if they feel as though they will be judged and gossiped about if and when they enter? (James 4:11) This is why it is so important that we obey what is written in James 1:26 and “keep a tight rein” on our tongues.
A “tight rein” equals control. If we love God, have good intentions, and have control over our mouth then wholesome words meant to uplift each other will come out. “For it is not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man” (Matthew 15:11)
So let us be more mindful of how we judge others and the words we allow to come out when speaking of our neighbors and our neighbor’s business. The intentions of our hearts are being watched carefully. Let our words, which are manifestations of what’s on our minds and hearts, be kind and gentle “full of grace, and seasoned with salt” just as Colossians 4:6 commands. (Read more about gentleness in the post, “Handle With Care: Practicing Gentleness as Christians”)
May your eyes, your head, and your spirit always be LIFTED.
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Sis, this was amazing. Sometimes we has humans don’t even realize when we are gossiping about someone. We must be careful how we go into conversations because we never want the people that we are trying to win to get the wrong idea about the church or us as a whole! The verse in Colossians is what I tried to always keep in the forefront of my mind when having conversation with people now. Is what I’m about to say going to be uplifting or will it make someone look bad! Great job! LOVE YOU!
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting, sis! Yes, it is such a slippery slope. General convos can quickly turn into gossip if we aren’t careful. Great questions to ask ourselves! Love you too!
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Sometimes people don’t realize they are gossiping when they’re using ”I got some tea.” or the ”inside scoop on someone” Those are just cover up words to make people feel like they aren’t gossiping. I don’t really watch Wendy Williams Show or TMZ anymore because I don’t want to feed my mind with gossip. I also felt in my spirit to unfollow The Shade Room on IG because that’s a form of gossip too. We shouldn’t spread rumors about others nor should we entertain gossippers. All of it is ungodly. Great post Dana!
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Great point, Chelle! It really is a fine line between “news” and sources of gossip. I am going to continue to make an effort to discern the difference. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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I really appreciate this article. Gossip is rampant in the church and it is DEADLY. I know so many Christians who don’t open up about their issues because they don’t feel they can trust other Christians. God bless you.
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Andrew! Yes, gossip really does interfere with the efforts of the church. I am am praying as a community we all do a better job of making others feel welcome– one way is by being more aware of gossip and trying to refrain from it.
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Ugh! This is amazing. It has actually been on my heart for some time. I can’t believe how easy it is to slip into gossip, without even trying. I thank you for posting this great reminder!
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I appreciate it so much. Yes, it is so very easy to engage in it. We all can work harder to become aware of it and try to refrain from it.
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Thanks for this reminder to keep trying to tame our tongues! Pinning for future reference!
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Charlie! I really appreciate you pinning/sharing 🙂
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This was awesome! It’s so easy for us to get caught in “gossip”. I’ve recently decided to make an intentional effort in stopping the gossip and the gossipers in my life (including myself) right in heir tracks. If we are not praying for them or helping them then let’s talk about something else. Thank you for this read, it was much needed!
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Thank you so much for reading, Mercedes! I am glad it spoke to you and that is exactly where I am with my stance on gossip at the moment. Wishing you all the best! God bless 🙂
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This is so important to hear. It hurts when you find out you are the one gossiping. I wrote a post on this as well called gossip is a poison. Thanks for speaking on this for people to become aware.
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Hey! Thank you so much for reading. Just read your post on the topic as well. Great job! Looking forward to reading more!
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You never cease to amaze me! You truly walk the talk. I remember the times I would start to gossip and you would say “Ma, I do not want to talk about that.” You have shown me in a lot of ways how responsible and wise you are. Proud of you, mom.
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Mommy! I love you so much. Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate your support so much. To know you are proud of me means the world to me. Let’s continue to keep growing closer to each other and to God together 🙂
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A great reminder that we are called to be kind, gentle and full of grace. The fruit we bear witnesses to the state of our hearts – so we do need to self-check and assess when we gossip, and are producing bad fruit, what is in our hearts that leads to us doing so.
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Agreed Anne! Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts. Much appreciated 🙂
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Great post. Thanks for this. I think the moment you start engaging with gossip or even negative thoughts about someone else, it starts to influence everything you think about them. You can no longer see the good in them, even if they do good, and their ministry (if they are another Christian) no longer is effective for you. So, for example, if you’re gossiping about a church leader, then any time they were to give a sermon or lead a Bible study, you’d never accept anything they have to say. That’s one reason why it’s important to censor our thoughts and tame our tongues.
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Great point and example, Robert! That definitely adds another layer to gossiping. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
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